Night-time musings

"I am, what I am.
I'll be, what I'll be.
Look, can't you see?
That it's me, all of me?"

Yeah that sums up how I pretty well feel at the moment. It's from a song my kidlet learnt at school. Where the song is from exactly, and who wrote it... I have no idea. But still at the moment, it fits.

I've recently had a "friend" ask me if I could change myself, whom I was, my whole personality basically. To that I say, "uh, no." I am who I am, take it or leave it. And believe me, I've had a few people... well leave it. I can be blunt at times. Well a lot of the time. I don't do subtle well, or at all. Though I do have a little bit of tact. Perhaps not enough. But I also speak my mind, and if I'm pissed off, or think strongly about something, I'll say it. I also like to debate on things, occasionally. Sadly not everyone is good at doing so. And some take offense at my stances on some subjects. If I'm wrong on something, I admit it. I try not to offend people but, I'm not a "yes" person either. And this "friend" basically wanted me to be. I'd rather apologize for an accidental offense, than be walked all over. I have lost some people along the way, due to this, but it's better than being a doormat! And I've found a few people who like me for whom I am, (Even the quirks!)throughout my life. :3

I think everyone has had this happen to them at some points in their lives. I think as people grow, and evolve in their lives and personalities, some people just don't stay along for the ride. It can be sad sometimes, infuriating in others, but that's just the way things are. I've even had some people make their way back into my life, after having disappearing for some odd year, or several. Sometimes that's awesome, and sometimes... well in at least one case, the jury is still out on it. The way that friendship ended was; well it wasn't pretty. I can't say I'll ever effectively be able too trust them again. There's also small number of friends who've disappeared throughout time I wish I could find again. And a couple of friends who... I miss, though the rip in the friendship was over, I think misunderstandings, and stupidity. On both sides. Not just mine, or theirs. I have occasionally checked up on them, quietly, to just make sure they're doing well. And then there are the many faces who have been there, and then left. They were more aquaintances than friends.

That's life for ya.

To those of you still around, I love you! (As friends of course!) And any old friends who find their way to my page, feel free to stop by again to say hi. :3 I'd love to talk to you again, see how life has been for you since we last talked. And for some of you it's been years. And for new people... feel free to say hi too.